People Can Surprise You

This day has been such a roller coaster.  Its the last official day of school and of course, emotions are running wild, tears and goodbyes and endless yearbook signing.  When the day started I felt a world apart from it all.  This morning my english teacher read the class his senior speech.  He was so close with us and he started to cry as he read it.  Of course the class responded the same way.  But I couldn't cry.  I couldn't feel anything.  I felt almost like I had processed most of the graduation feelings months ago -  I have been so ready to leave.  For the rest of the day I made it through.  No tears.

Then I got home and went online.  For our last english assignment, we were supposed to create a podcast and the new ones were up on the website so I went to check it out.  I found Ally's - my best friend.  She and I have been going through a rough time.  For the last month or so of school, I felt her pushing me away, distancing herself.  It upset me, and my natural reaction was anger.  But I went on line and I listened to the class podcasts, finally coming to hers.  It was entitled - "To My Best Friend."  The stone face I had worn all day shattered to pieces.  She spoke of her worst fears about the future and how they were not about starting over and taking on college, but about not seeing me anymore.  God...I was a faucet.  It changed my attitude completely.  I had spent all this time feeling hurt and angry when I didn't realize that her pushing me away, was part of her defense mechanism.  She thought it would be easier for her if we weren't so close when we both left.

It really taught me that forgiveness is so important.  That there is absolutely no time to waste being angry.  I mean, people always tell you that, but it is especially true when you go through experiences like this.  My eyes are all puffy...damnet!  I was doing so well today!  And I'm pretty sure my period is on the way...so this next week is going to be verrry interesting.  I'll need to go buy excessive amounts of kleenex.  

Above all, there is nothing more sacred to me, than friendship.