yesterday I took out all of my prismacolors and religiously sharpened each and every one of them. The sketchbook has been calling my name lately and I've been answering as best I can. Every night for a couple hours before bed, I doodle.
The word 'doodle' makes the act sound trivial and maybe it is, but when I'm drawing, I tend to just get every idea out at once in these doodle-intense sessions before bed. I make sense of the pages later. But when I look back I'm happy to see pieces of ideas and stories and colors and inks that just make me dream. The sketchbook itself is basically where I keep the chaos. I come back to it again later to pick and choose the ideas I want to develop and love up a little more.
I'm excited about the chaos right now. Even though I've made sense of very little, I'm happy with mess. I'm happy with crazy. I feel like "mess" is the best way to describe myself right now. I'm about to embark on the greatest adventure of my life, all by myself. I want to embrace every fear and every piece of anxiety and turn it into something beautiful. I'll take whatever is coming to me with the knowledge that there is a God who sees me already as a masterpiece of his own. So even if I crash and burn, I am still beautiful to someone. We were all made in his image and thats got to mean something. I'm welcoming the unknown. Opening my arms to whatever the hell comes next. Yes please. I'm ready to lose myself inside this journey and come out a changed girl, artist, friend, sister, daughter....woman... at the end.
Sometimes you have to get lost to be found.
As soon as my scanner is up and running, I'll post some sketch pages and share some mess with you. <3
Peace. Always peace.
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