kfjhkfjbv;kdfvnfvj

Sometimes we get a little bored on weekends and make forts to watch movies under.  Isn't that the shittiest fort you have ever seen? <>

Well its been a while since my last post and so much has been happening I can hardly see straight.  The project I had been so worried about wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  It was still pretty rough grading in our class but I came out with a B.  I have never been so thankful for a B in my entire life.  Maureen, our professor is a hard ass.  But at the same time she is my HERO.  She has had the most interesting life, so many stories and she is so devoted to her painting.  She also has ADD and a sailor's mouth so I could listen to her talk all day.  We'll get up to go to class early in the morning and she'll walk in the room with old hoodies on, covered in paint saying, "Why the fuck am I awake?"  She's quirky and strange and psycho but I absolutely love it.  Underneath all of that she is an extremely good person.  After her husband died, she sold a painting in France for like $16,000.  She came home and looked around at all the material stuff her husband had collected and sold all over her stuff because she wanted to make a difference with the money somewhere instead of just "fuckin around."  (classic Maureen.)  She spent some time in Tanzania where she helped teach and stayed in a village.  From then on, every single cent of any money she makes when she sells a painting, she sends to the town she stayed in.  How freakin amazing is that?  Hands down - my hero.

This past week has been one of the absolute busiest.  I had three huge assignments due one day after another.  I handed in the last of them yesterday and rewarded myself with a longgg beautiful nap.  (or two.)  I have spent the past week or so staying up until 2-3am working on either art or english or some kind of homework.  Its a lot to handle especially because I haven't been procrastinating and I'm still up so late!  Part of that is probably because of this boy who likes to hold my hand sometimes.  But still..I've been doing well staying on top of things.  But now I take more naps than I did when I was a toddler.  I go to class, work, eat, sleep, work, sleep, eat, go to class...etc.  It never ends.  And I'm so in love with it.  

I'm really looking forward to tomorrow.  My sister Maggie is coming up to spend the night in my dorm.  She's so excited about and so am I.  I cant wait to just hang out and show her what dorm life is like.  I think she'll love it.  Its so strange because I feel so far away.  Its almost weird to go home because my life is SO drastically different.  I cant wait for Mags to be here so I can just show her around...this is my life now.  I love weekends with a passion.  And this weekend I'm going home for a night which I am really looking forward to.  I haven't been home in a month.  So Mags sleeps over Friday, I sleep over Saturday.  I have to go to my best friend's little sister's baby shower.  I have a feeling its going to be an awkward, almost painful event seeing as she is 16 years old, but I really want to see Ally.  I have missed her so much.  So this weekend should be fun, I can't wait to just be with my family.  You forget how much you need them sometimes.  

till next time <3

This week has been a little overwhelming.  But in the best ways.  This week things in school have gotten more serious.  I'm terrified for my art class tomorrow.  I worked my ass off on a linear perspective and turned it in when it was due, tomorrow i get the grade.  Then today I heard that the other class working on the same project ended up getting F's.  EVERY single one of them got F's.  Its brutal.  If I ever catch anyone saying that Art majors dont work hard...I'll personally kick their ass.

Today I've just been feelin a little down.  Missing people, feeling overwhelmed, a little scared of tomorrow.  But I keep reminding myself how well everything is going and how I have to take the good with the bad.  Find a balance. 

In other news...my beautiful dorm walls are no longer blank.  I bought my Dave Matthews poster - finally.  His sax player recently died.  And I cried.  I seriously did.  I need to find out when his next concert is near by.  I'm having Dave concert withdrawals.  The other day I went out with my momma and my sister, my cousin Tori and Aunt Gerri, to the Clothesline festival at the art gallery.  It was so awesome.  Its like a lilac festival only for all artists.  I saw so many things I loved and wanted to learn how to make.  Hopefully before I die I'll get a booth there and sell my art.  There were potters, sculptors, painters, jewelry makers, glass blowers, belly dancers, hula dancers, wood workers, guitar players.  It was just a big beautiful day of art. And I spent it with the best people in the world.

My birthday is around the corner in November.  18 on the 18th!!! WOO.  I'm savin up for my next tattoo...and hopefully for a nose piercingggggg.  I dont know yet.  But..at LEAST a tattoo.  I have to start working on that design soon.  I'm so excited :)  I love being an adult who can make her own decisions sometimes.  Nobody can really talk you out of doing what you want.  You're free.  Tattoos? Piercings? Mhm.  yes please.  Thats another reason I love art so much.  It just has so many infinite possibilities and you can express yourself however the hell you want because it becomes your life.  It completes you, transforms you into the person you want to become inside and out.  I love that. I love this.  This is me.

it just makes sense.

Things are good.  I mean...SO good.  The kind of good you are afraid of sometimes cuz you think it might not last, that its too good to be true.  And then you remind yourself that you deserve everything in front of you at this very moment...and the world gets even prettier.

This is the first time I have felt completely in control of my life.  I'm a freaking sponge.  I cant stop listening, I cant stop watching, I cant stop laughing, I cant stop learning new things.  Every single part of me is meant to be here.  I have amazing friends already and its only been two weeks.  I leave my art classes feeling like a dreamer, a creator, an adult. Sometimes I catch myself tearing up a little bit - not cuz of homesickness or stress - but just because I'm so incredibly happy and thankful.

I do miss the family a lot, but I have seen them once or twice since move in day.  Its really hard for me to be away from them but they keep me motivated and excited.  And when I do get to see them it just makes it that much better. My time here is for me, but its also for them <3

  

My dorm floor is awesome.  I cant believe how quickly people can become friends and I'm really glad everyone has clicked so well this far.  I have lost countless hours of sleep playing cards and taking walks and just talking with people - and its so worth it.  I can sleep when I'm dead.  (And when my homework is done...which I've actually been keeping up with fairly well.)  I've lost a little weight, I laugh my ass off at least three times a day, I learned how to play poker, and I am kicking ass in art class.  

Life is sweet.