Dad's in Haiti. Left on Sunday. This picture is from his last visit working in Borgne. (He's the one in blue in the back) My Mom and Mags and I are all having anxiety issues while he's away. Which is to be expected. When you love someone like we love Dad, there is no shaking the worry or the fear. I'm so proud of him and everything he does there, but I want him home safe really badly. Its hard to get in touch with him there, especially after the earthquake.
So we wait. And we worry. And we feel. And we pray.
I feel like our family is deeply connected in such a way where we would know if something bad was going to happen or if something went terribly wrong. We would feel it. But beyond the worry and anxiety, there is only hope. So I know all will be well and that Dad is in good hands, changing lives all the way. I wish I could have gone.
Here in college-world things are going alright I guess. I'm feeling so restless and the added stress of this week is just not helping me focus at all. I have no motivation to go through these motions. I feel like I'm doing everything and nothing all at once. I feel stuck and just all over anxious. I'm ready for this semester to come to an end.
I'm ready for a summer of work before an amazing trip to Italy for 3 months in the fall. Can you believe it? Me. On my own. In a foreign country for three months. Its terrifying and beautiful all at once to know that coming back from that trip...I won't be the same person. I already know that the experience will change my life. How do you find patience waiting for such an event? To know your life is about to change...is like standing on a ledge. Its the breath you take before you jump. And I feel like I've been holding that breath all semester.
I'm ready. Terrified. But ready, I can't even think about it this week....there's just too much. Too much going on. My head is in a million places. I'm going everywhere and no where. I'm poor and I'm rich all at once. I'm just a ball of potential energy.
And I really miss my Dad. Once I know he's home safe....I think things will calm down again. I hope.
"Bondye do ou, M a fe pa M." (Creole for: "God says do your part, and I'll do mine."
