Back to school. The general response to this statement is usually a lot bitching and moaning, but I can tell you right now, I'm absolutely ecstatic to be headed back. Will I be prostrate to my higher education for yet another year? Yes.
Does that bother me? Hell no. There is no place I would rather be. How lucky am I? That I am completely in love with school?
Today was a happy day, a productive day. And it probably would not have been quite so happy or quite so productive without my lovely room mate Sam. She helped me shop and never once got impatient with my indecision or my compulsive singing in the car. The girl is a gift from God, plain and simple.
We were both so excited today as we checked out our new dorms and shopped for college shit. We bought a fridge. How freaking cool are we? You know, I've set a lot of goals for myself this semester and sometimes I'm afraid I won't be able to pull it all off. But every time I start to doubt myself or feel afraid Sam is always there lifting me up and encouraging me, making me feel like everything I have set out to do is possible. Reminding me of my self worth. Talking to her has kept me sane and happy and inspired. If I could just put her in my pocket and carry her around with me everyday, I so would.
After a busy day of shopping and laughing and talking, I came home and just collapsed in front of the fan. Mom and Dad and Mags came home from a dinner by the lake and we talked about our days. My parents were impressed that I was taking care of everything myself. They were proud of me. I was proud of me. There really is nothing more satisfying than being self sufficient. Even though I know I can't fly completely solo financially just yet, I know that it isn't too far away.
My mom knows it too. I could see in her eyes as she talked to me tonight that it was a bittersweet thing. She told me she saw something change in me since freshman year at college. Like I had become someone who couldn't be held back anymore.
I love that she sees that in me. I hope others can see that in me too. That they can see how unstoppable I feel right now. As long as I remember to take the good with the bad and find the balance in life, she's right. I can't be held back. Not anymore.
And it feels wonderful :)
